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By R.R. Stark Here's a hideous hodge-podge of poetic creepiness I hope will frighten the bejeebers out of you! If not, just guffaw manically while you read! A Hideous Halloween! Ghastly grimaces galore Gruesome Gut-wrenching guffaws Grim and grisly gore-gluttoners! Cruel cacophonous cackles Calamitous cranium crunching Creepy chest cavity-crushing! Blood-boiling barbecues Brain-bashing bamboozlers Bombastic belly barfing! Titillating toe twisting Terrifying tarantula tormentors Intolerable intestine torching! And above all Heinous horrifying helldaciousness Haunting howling hysteria And harrowing Halloween hideousness! Halloween Time Greasy grimy gopher guts Worse than smelly cigarette butts; Slimy grimy slippery worms And awful hideous germs; Rotten dried-up zombie brains And old skeleton men with clicking canes; Blood-sucking vampires with red-dripping fangs Goblins, ghosts and ghouls running in gangs; Bewarted green-faced witches And nervous corpses with twitches; Ragged stumbling mummies Who irreparably lost their mommies; Slashed, gashed, and trashed victims Inflicted with hideous symptoms; A squirmy rat with squealings Crunchy blood-fried batwings And glaring rubbery eyes in a hag's stew Top it off by throwing in an old shoe! Spell-casting wizards And lizards eating their gizzards; Skeletons, skulls, and bones Found in the locker of Davie Jones! Even scum like pirates and buccaneers Are required to offer their evil sneers; Cobwebs with spiders And other big toothed biters; Haunted houses and maniac mansions Creepy basements and dreaded dungeons Putrid pits and pendulums Always the prisoner's conundrum A tribute to Edgar Allan Poe Writer of many tales of terror, doncha know This is the way of Halloween There's no in between No gray areas here Only a grim and ghastly sneer This is the time of Halloween As you have clearly seen! I've seen wizards trapped in blizzards with their lizards eating gizzards And I've gawked at wicked witches with switches that gave you twitches And I've gandered at slashers and gashers and bashers and mashers. I've glared at dancing skeleton men with skeleton keys clanging around their boney necks And I've glowered at worm-infested, gauze-wrapped stumbling mumbling mummies And I've witnessed howling werewolves in need of extra-strength breath mints. I've gawped at stomping Frankenstein monsters with their shoelaces to lose and neck screws too tight And I've spied geeks, sneaks, and creeps herd into that killer Chiller Diller Thriller Theater And I've gaped in shock when crazy creatures, monstrous monsters, and demented demons came out! But these are nothing compared to me! Because I'm a bone-crunching, blood-gushing Eyeball-munching, brain-sucking Innards-devouring, spine-splitting, rib-tickling, Foot-fetishing, finger-licking, snot-sniveling, Hellraising, corpse-chomping zombie from hell! Bwoooo-Hahahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! A Night of Fright! This night is very scary This time is very hairy This place is very creepy There's no way you'd get sleepy It's full of heebie-jeebies and jeepers-creepers So I hope there's no high wall leapers 'Tis an awful harrowing night It's a night so full of fright It's fraught with witches and warlock So you'd better keep your door locked And there are ghouls and ghosts and goblins All with sneers and snarls and grimaces and grins They're hooting and howling And giggling and yowling You'll notice their creepy scary faces Of anything nice there are no traces And yet most of them are very small Not a one is at all very tall And they come collecting candy, goodies, and treats With big bags aholding -- boy, they're little sneaks! Dancing and skipping along the streets, to and fro From door to door they come and go And when a door opens, they sing their age-old Halloween bleat: "Trick or treat, smell my feet, give me something good to eat!" And the once-frightened house-dwellers are now relieved For these are but children, they now perceive And now we have seen That it's only Halloween! |
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