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A Strange Report of my Fascinating Encounters with Two Peculiar Individuals
January 24, 2007

Alright, folks. Let's get back to the really strange and bizarre stuff!

I have met two most peculiar individuals that truly believed in various conspiracy theories, or UFOs, aliens, alien abductions, and all the rest. Their names will remain anonymous to protect their innocence, but I don't think they're really guilty of anything. However, I highly suspect they were delusional if not schizophrenic. But then that's just the skeptic in me saying that. I could be wrong; perhaps they were the real McCoys. Quite possibly they truly encountered something strange and paranormal. Who am I to judge?

The one fellow claimed the CIA and the government in general were after him because he had some important secrets that they were trying to apprehend from him, but I don't think he ever told me what they were -- unless he was referring to his weird delusional episodes that he disclosed to me, which would make a psychiatrist's eyes roll up in his head. Incidentally, he had been seeing one for while. Due to the confidentiality clause (although I'm not a licensed psychiatrist, but I honor it anyway) I feel I can't in good conscience discuss any details regarding his strange delusions.

Okay, just one item. But that's all. He believed that he could "psychically" impregnate any and all women he wanted to, especially famous actresses! Yikes! Are your eyes rolling up inside your head yet? So, you have this psychic harem of beautiful buxom nubile babes, all impregnated via some bizarre psychic fertility connection, I imagine. I'm not sure what the science would be that could explain this bizarre possibility. Laugh if you will -- maybe he knows something we don't. After all, in the tabloids you can read about all these actresses getting pregnant and having babies all over the place. Coincidence? You decide.

I knew this other fellow from the church we both attended, and he always talked to me about aliens being in our midst and that the government was after him for some reason or other. He believed "They" were tapping his phone line, as if he knew something that "They" wanted to find out. (Sound familiar? Yep, same delusional pattern.)

One time he entertained a group of our church people with a documentary film about UFO sightings and aliens, but he claimed that this particular video had been doctored, because he said that he had seen it once before. Either he had rented it from a video store or checked it out from the local library, I'm not sure which. Anyway, he said that "They" had confiscated the video in order to cut out particular scenes of real live aliens and such, then put it back on the shelf where he got it. Really? Well, why didn't Joe Gov -- or whoever "They" were -- just take the whole freaking video and keep it, plus the other thousands of copies of it? Wouldn't that be a more intelligent cover-up operation? (Incidentally, this definitely remind me of another confiscated video fiasco I was involved with once -- but let's save that for a future segment! Suspense anyone?)

Let me add that I knew this guy right around the time "The X-Files" TV series came out, around 1993 I think. Could he have been influenced and inspired by this popular paranormal TV show? And was he able to discern fantasy from reality? Did he confuse himself with Special Agent Fox Mulder who was always on a wild goose chase after aliens and UFOs? I've always wondered.

Alright, folks, this is the really strange part. One cold, dark night he came to my humble abode in an old apartment building in the historic district of town. He told me "They" were after him again and that he needed a place to stay for a while, a place to hide out so "They" wouldn't find him. Knowing he was delusional, but not verbally accusing him of such, I had to refuse him, as politely as I could. For one thing, he was married and could not or was not allowed to drive, because his wife had to drive him around town on his strange fool's errands, here and there and everywhere. In fact, she was out in the car waiting for him at that very moment! Yikes!

I doubt very much that she was caught up in his aberrant delusions; perhaps she just humored him all along. Quite possibly his wife had quite enough of his weird crap and she was helping him to find a place to stay -- to get him out of her frazzled hair. Just a theory, of course. At any rate, he reluctantly left, getting in the car with his wife, and they drove off. But after that strange meeting, I didn't see him again at church, or anywhere. In fact, I had never seen him again. Not ever! It was as if he had dropped off the face of the Earth! So I wonder, did "They" finally get him?

-- Let's hear The Twilight Zone theme song, everybody! --

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